Have you ever talked your partner/spouse/lover out of getting a haircut?

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verybored2
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Have you ever talked your partner/spouse/lover out of getting a haircut?

Post by verybored2 » 12 Jan 2018, 02:24

I have, for better or worse.

Background: My partner knows that I have a ‘thing’ for short hair, whether she labels it or not. She’s gone from waist length hair over a decade ago, to a longer pixie cut now, and had plenty of lengths and styles in between, and she knows from experience that I like the shorter styles on her. She’s had every possible hair colour too (yes, even green), so she’s rather adventurous, which is fun. :wink:

One evening last May, she told me to schedule in that she was having her hair cut on Saturday afternoon. I asked now that the weather was getting warm whether she wanted that side shave/sidecut she contemplated for a while, which she shrugged off. A few days later, she told me had set her mind on getting a small sidecut clippered in, something she could cover up while at work, and asked questions like whether I would like it, how short she should ask for on the clippers, and so on. Exciting!

That weekend, I drop her off at her regular hairdressers in town for her appointment and after a quick look ‘round the shops, arrive back at the salon after 15/20 minutes. She’s still sat in the chair and already had thhe side buzzed, and looks great, shows off the side cut to me proudly. Hairdresser lady finishes trimming, and as she makes a “short enough?” comment to me in a lighthearted way, to which my partner jokingly said to the hairdresser “oh, I want it all clippered off now!”, just as the cape was removed and she went to pay up. Didn’t think anything of it.

Ten minutes later, when we’re in town doing some shopping, out of the blue my partner says to me while touching her new side cut, “I’m feeling like a coward and I should’ve had the balls to the whole lot off!” I had a feeling of simultaneous elation and fear and panic all at once. “What?!” I thought - she’s had a short hairstyle for a while now, but nothing ‘extreme’ in terms of cut until that day. Shocked, I asked “really?” and she explained how she was a bit apprehensive before of having clippers used on her hair, but really enjoyed it when she did, and how she had on the spur of the moment seriously considered asking the hairdresser to clip the rest of her hair the same length just for the thrill of it. She then said she wanted to go straight back to the salon and ask for that! Confused and torn between my instinct to agree with her, and the part of my brain that was less impulsive, I basically talked my her out of doing it, as too big a step to take on a whim, and we went home later with her hair intact.

Still confused by it all, thinking of it! One hand, I almost got an ambition fulfilled (and very likely one of hers), a strike from the bucket list which I (we?) have missed out on for now, on the other, thinking I was the sensible one, in case she freaked out at the sight of her buzzed head, or her workplace objected, or several other possible negative consequences. Ever had that kind of dilemma in your life? :shock: :oops:

kensrs
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Re: Have you ever talked your partner/spouse/lover out of getting a haircut?

Post by kensrs » 12 Jan 2018, 08:33

Should tell her if she ever wants to really go through with it, you'd like to do it yourself. It'll get her thinking about it and that way she won't just show up one day with a buzzed head with you missing the chance to see it. Just an idea and good luck

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Re: Have you ever talked your partner/spouse/lover out of getting a haircut?

Post by crank » 12 Jan 2018, 20:03

I have... she had set her mind on growing it longer, for a change. After a couple months of good progress she went through an awkward stretch where her hair never seemed to look good. She wanted me to cut it. I talked her off the ledge.

As much as I like short hair, I looked forward to her with long hair as a change of pace. Plus, I looked forward to the day I would eventually cut her long hair short again.

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Re: Have you ever talked your partner/spouse/lover out of getting a haircut?

Post by murphy1746 » 12 Jan 2018, 22:20

No, but I got the pleasure of dealing with a haircut she regretted. This was back in 1999 long before the great grow out of 2005. At the time my wife was wearing a typical late 90's short cut. Symmetrical, bit longer on top but fairly short on the sides and back. At the time she told me she was going to grow it out so I was resolved for a dry spell.

So one evening she went to the salon to get a trim. I home with my son so I could not go with. Her best friend met her at the salon so they could get a bite after. I had very low expectations because of the previous comment. About 2 hours after appointment time I get a phone call from my wife. She tells me that she told the stylist that she is thinking of growing her hair out. The stylist responded saying that she thinks that's great but lets take you super short before the grow out. Normally my wife would have said no but her BF was there and totally encouraging her. So she went for it.

By the end of the cut she was in a bit of shock. She told me on the phone it was no longer then 1/2 inch on top. I thought she was exaggerating. She told me at the end of the cut the stylist could tell she was a bit uncomfortable with the new cut. The stylist told all she needed was a some good earrings to make a statement.

Her best friend was extremely complementary and went with to a near by jewelry store to pick out a pair of new earrings.

The only reason she called was she spent $1200 on them and was worried I would go through the roof. But listening to the emotion in her voice, I knew this was not the time to be upset.

I happened to be in the garage when she pulled in and damn her hair was that short. Think Morena Baccarin at her shortest and a little shorter. Her hair was too short to lay down and a little spiky but still really feminine. She was really uncomfortable with the cut at the time. But I was in heaven. She looked even better with the new earrings.

Her friends and women neighbors lavished compliments on her in the coming days and weeks. The cut even spurred several women to take the plunge to go short.

I never thought she would ever go that short. Unfortunately it did begin a long grow out. She would cut her hair short one more time but that is another story.

But if I would been in the salon when the stylist was suggesting the cut, I would have told to be more conservative. Good thing I was not there.

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Elina
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Re: Have you ever talked your partner/spouse/lover out of getting a haircut?

Post by Elina » 12 Jan 2018, 23:55

I have totally been there! I can think of 3 significant times I have talked a close friend or partner out of a haircut. Interestingly, that was when my own hair was long. Now that my hair is super short I find myself on the other side of the fence entirely. Now whenever anyone mentions the idea of cutting their hair, I’m like, Yes. DO IT!! :lol:

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Re: Have you ever talked your partner/spouse/lover out of getting a haircut?

Post by EricB256 » 13 Jan 2018, 08:42

Well, to cut a long story short (ha ha, I know ...), my ex used to be upset at my suggestion of getting a short haircut while we were together. I did tell her right away that I thought short hair on ladies is hot because it was recommended to do so on forums like this one, but that just made her think I was creepy. She was all about long hair. Still, we did have some fun for a few times when she asked me to cut her hair from just below rib cage length to center of shoulder blade length. I delightfully agreed and with the help of some tutorial videos, I managed to do OK. She told me later she had gotten compliments on the cut from some girls she studied with at uni, and when she said it was her boyfriend who did it, they all agreed they wouldn't let their boyfriend near their hair much less cut it. So I guess I was lucky I did ineed cut it (pun intended).
After our mutual but non-amicable split, we tried to remain friends but that only worked on 2nd attempt which began about a year after our split and lasted a few months more than 2 years during which we were more like an old married couple which couldn't completely stand each other anymore than young people in their 30s.

Near the end of that 2 year period, she asked me again if I would cut her hair again, and I flat out refused, saying I was totally out of practise and wouldn't want to mess it up. She accepted that on 2nd attempt. But really, I couldn't open up to her that much anymore after knowing I wasn't worth near as much to her than she was to me back in the day. She really just wanted a haircut on the cheap and some silly fool to pull it off for free. No, thanks mate.

Re-reading this, I guess I still should to let go of some bitterness before I look out for a new love...

crank
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Re: Have you ever talked your partner/spouse/lover out of getting a haircut?

Post by crank » 13 Jan 2018, 17:57

Last night, I went the other way. I talked her into a haircut she didn’t need and cut it a little shorter than usual.

Her: “That feels pretty short. You’re making me nervous.”

Me: “I’m cutting it very short and you’re making ME nervous. Put your head down and hold still.”

Everyone survived...

verybored2
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Re: Have you ever talked your partner/spouse/lover out of getting a haircut?

Post by verybored2 » 15 Jan 2018, 17:05

kensrs wrote:
12 Jan 2018, 08:33
Should tell her if she ever wants to really go through with it, you'd like to do it yourself. It'll get her thinking about it and that way she won't just show up one day with a buzzed head with you missing the chance to see it. Just an idea and good luck
Thanks. :)

I should tell her if that ever happens, yes. Might only get one chance.

Edit: I can actually seeing her agreeing to a buzz one day, as she's keen on short hair, and rather adventurous. Think it depends on whether she could swing it past her workplace though.
Last edited by verybored2 on 16 Jan 2018, 18:45, edited 1 time in total.

Luckyhusband
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Re: Have you ever talked your partner/spouse/lover out of getting a haircut?

Post by Luckyhusband » 15 Jan 2018, 23:55

When Queenie was planning her charity shave, I think it was about a week or so into her finally committing to it, I had a mini-melt down and might have seemed I was trying to talk her out of it. I suppose my fears were over a number of things, I was worried about being "outed" though that was unlikely, it was just a bit close to home I suppose having the fetish in full blown real life that I would have around me continually. I was also worried for her sake that people would react badly or she would hate it but eventually we talked through all of each others fears and realized they were just that and no reason not to do it. Once the donations started flowing it gave another reason to go ahead and set it in stone. We spoke the other night about how daft all our fears were over what is nothing but a haircut.

In another life I was dating a psycho girlfriend who I was trying to get rid of without too much damage to my life, she never knew about my likes and I made sure she didn't. I knew they would be used as a weapon against me both in the relationship and most definately after I had managed to dump her. She very neary had a radical chop, right off to very short pixie and at the moment she voiced it to me I steered the conversation away and never encouraged it. I wanted her at arms length from my interest in many ways to protect it and me. for me I had to be very comfotable and secure in a relationship before I opened up about it and at even thought it was something I would always hide. I'm glad to have found in Queenie someone who I can indulge in it with and my forum name sums me up better than you could imagine.

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Re: Have you ever talked your partner/spouse/lover out of getting a haircut?

Post by RitschRatsch » 16 Jan 2018, 05:56

Sure, plenty of times. You see, it's far easier to find a woman who already likes short hair and convince her to grow it out (so you can have fun cutting it short again later, of course) than it is to find a woman with long hair who is ready/willing to cut it short.

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