Who in your life knows about your fetish

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RitschRatsch
Posts: 18
Joined: 30 Jun 2016, 13:45

Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by RitschRatsch » 06 Dec 2016, 17:42

kensrs wrote:
aasics wrote:2 of my best friends. A very small handful of women I've dated, a few others I've found through the community

No one has ever flinched, but it's still something I'm very sensitive about. Go figure.
Same way, one friend knows and he is like cool... im like wtf, you arent freaked out.
In this age of internet, folks know that there are a lot of other crazier, darker fetishes out there. This is pretty mild by comparison. Heck, one of my partners who loves hair play with me, just got me into her thing: hard vore. Still, I keep haircutting play at the "bottom of the toybox" with more casual play partners (although I'm getting more comfortable with folks knowing about it at our kinky sex club); even hardcore submissives find that one a bit scary.

In a message board discussion I read once about the idea of shaving a slave's head as an act of submission, a long experienced top replied that he had had females subs who were more willing to have their genitals altered than their hairdo fucked with.

Velours123
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Joined: 31 Jul 2016, 02:38

Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by Velours123 » 06 Dec 2016, 19:46

RitschRatsch wrote:
In this age of internet, folks know that there are a lot of other crazier, darker fetishes out there. This is pretty mild by comparison. Heck, one of my partners who loves hair play with me, just got me into her thing: hard vore. Still, I keep haircutting play at the "bottom of the toybox" with more casual play partners (although I'm getting more comfortable with folks knowing about it at our kinky sex club); even hardcore submissives find that one a bit scary.

In a message board discussion I read once about the idea of shaving a slave's head as an act of submission, a long experienced top replied that he had had females subs who were more willing to have their genitals altered than their hairdo fucked with.
Well, the private parts are mostly.. private.. A haircut is nearly always visible.
In comparison, this fetish is very mild, but for some reason it's not something people would say yes to to participate in.
I wonder whether it's the fact we get a kink out of it, and that weirds them out?
I mean, tons of women go short nowadays, if only 1-5% would say yes if one of us did it we would have a clientèle for years I guess.. lol

Fermat_returns
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Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by Fermat_returns » 06 Dec 2016, 20:43

My partner knows, but doesn't have any interest in it herself at all.
One of my ex girlfriends knows - and so do my ...parents :shock: :shock: :shock:

This is because the previously mentioned idiotic, tactless, brainless airhead of an ex-girlfriend told them.
It wasn't particularly easy for me to tell her about it. I wasn't sure she would really understand. She obviously didn't - and just blurted it out in front of my Mom and Dad one Sunday afternoon.
It was one of those really, really horrible "Please ground, open up and swallow me" moments. :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

My parents never mentioned it - I hope they've forgotten about it, the ex is long gone - but I didn't tell any other girlfriends about it, or anyone else, for about two decades. The only other person I've told is my (now long term, permanent) partner. No one else.

aiyakcha
Posts: 19
Joined: 06 May 2016, 04:26

Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by aiyakcha » 06 Dec 2016, 23:08

Nobody knows but the internet. People know I have a preference for having short hair, but I haven't told anyone about the fetish aspect. I'll probably tell my fiance at some point though.

chewprthedog
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Joined: 09 Feb 2016, 00:08

Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by chewprthedog » 06 Dec 2016, 23:50

Hair Porn. I like the analogy. I have told my wife but I don't think she understands it. I first got into it in the 80s with this style which my wife had for a few years. Then long hair, bobs and finally to this day, a pixie-bob combo. Somewhere in the middle between short and longish in the back. I want her to go with the shaved sides and longer top...
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Shuy1n
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Joined: 20 Sep 2006, 17:03

Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by Shuy1n » 07 Dec 2016, 06:02

My fiancee and my ex, that want to be shaved bald for me :D
And no one else :)
Thanks fully they understand it, and 'facilitate' my fetish, lol.

Sapphire1
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Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by Sapphire1 » 07 Dec 2016, 09:12

ssjockey wrote:My wife knows, not all the specifics, but she calls it my hair porn....
Funny because that is what my wife calls it for me. One of the things that is confusing to her is that I LOVE her beautiful long hair, AND I LOVE fantasizing about cutting her hair. She keeps it long for me as long as I do all of her touch-ups, trims, and keep it looking amazing. Other than her and my ex, I don't make it a point to let anyone I know in on my personal thoughts.

Sapphire

CRHAIR
Posts: 14
Joined: 26 Jan 2008, 07:30

Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by CRHAIR » 07 Dec 2016, 11:40

Sapphire1 wrote:
ssjockey wrote:My wife knows, not all the specifics, but she calls it my hair porn....
Funny because that is what my wife calls it for me. One of the things that is confusing to her is that I LOVE her beautiful long hair, AND I LOVE fantasizing about cutting her hair. She keeps it long for me as long as I do all of her touch-ups, trims, and keep it looking amazing. Other than her and my ex, I don't make it a point to let anyone I know in on my personal thoughts.

Sapphire
Same with me in terms of loving long hair but fantasizing about it being cut. My girlfriend's hair has gotten really long in the two plus years we've been going out, it's not far from the top of her butt. She knows that i'm turned on by her hair but because she doesn't know about the cutting part of my fetish she thinks i'd be horrified if she cut it all off.

arch94
Posts: 34
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 00:14

Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by arch94 » 07 Dec 2016, 16:25

Ex wife knows the full scope of it. Luckily still participates to this day. If she needs a favor, she knows how to get it. Let me cut off her ponytail last year for my birthday when she went from shoulders to a pixie cut. She knows full well that i'll pay for haircuts, but only if clippers come out. Lol

Former sis-n-law knows too. Same thing, she knows how to get a favor. If i could come up with the money, she'd go from waist to stacked bob for me. Her hubby knows and doesn't mind her participating. Luckily him and I are best friends from childhood (we married sisters). He thinks it funny and just shakes his head. He's got his own kinks, which disqualifies him from harrassing me. In fact, in exchange for some math tutoring, shes letting me give her a wash, trim, and neck shave this weekend.

Several close friends and a few family members know my preference for short hair. If it's brought up, it's "you've always loved short hair" or "you don't like long hair". As I've gotten older, I've gotten more to not caring what people think. There are far more bizarre fetishes out there.

Ms. Herten
Posts: 71
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Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by Ms. Herten » 08 Dec 2016, 07:37

Fermat_returns wrote:My partner knows, but doesn't have any interest in it herself at all.
One of my ex girlfriends knows - and so do my ...parents :shock: :shock: :shock:

This is because the previously mentioned idiotic, tactless, brainless airhead of an ex-girlfriend told them.
It wasn't particularly easy for me to tell her about it. I wasn't sure she would really understand. She obviously didn't - and just blurted it out in front of my Mom and Dad one Sunday afternoon.
It was one of those really, really horrible "Please ground, open up and swallow me" moments. :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

My parents never mentioned it - I hope they've forgotten about it, the ex is long gone - but I didn't tell any other girlfriends about it, or anyone else, for about two decades. The only other person I've told is my (now long term, permanent) partner. No one else.
I can't believe she betrayed your trust like that.

Fermat_returns
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Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by Fermat_returns » 08 Dec 2016, 10:19

Ms. Herten wrote: I can't believe she betrayed your trust like that.
She thought nothing about it. As far as she was concerned it was like I'd said "I like girls in glasses" or "I find blue eyed girls really attractive".

Image a girl came on the television in glasses and my ex shouted to me, because I was out of the room, "There's a really attractive girl wearing glasses on the TV!" and then turns to my parents to explain "He really likes girls in glasses".

That is how she saw it.

Well, the television program was one of those dramas set it ancient Rome and some heroine has been arrested by the Roman's and is going to be fed to the lions, or something... and they've cropped all her long hair off. Ex shouts to me to come and look... and as I walk in she turns to my parents and says: "He's got a real thing about women getting all their hair cut off, haven't you?"

Followed by a total stunned silence... and a bail of tumbleweed blowing across the room. :roll:

At the time I was mortified, but now I've explained the circumstances, does it seem such a big deal?

A relative told me about a friend of theirs who as a teenager who went through a personal hell trying to work up to a point where he could tell his mother he was gay. Sleepless nights, visiting self help groups about 'coming out' etc. Eventually the big day arrives and he finally plucks up the courage and tells his mother "Mom.. I'm Gay".
And the reaction was something like "Yes, I know that, dear. What do you want for dinner?"

We choose to keep some things to ourselves because we fear other people's feelings and reactions. It is a personal thing and the fears aren't always justified. It should still be our choice, though, we shouldn't be 'outed' by someone else :x

Ms. Herten
Posts: 71
Joined: 06 Oct 2015, 07:35

Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by Ms. Herten » 09 Dec 2016, 09:32

Fermat_returns wrote:
Ms. Herten wrote: I can't believe she betrayed your trust like that.
She thought nothing about it. As far as she was concerned it was like I'd said "I like girls in glasses" or "I find blue eyed girls really attractive".

Image a girl came on the television in glasses and my ex shouted to me, because I was out of the room, "There's a really attractive girl wearing glasses on the TV!" and then turns to my parents to explain "He really likes girls in glasses".

That is how she saw it.

Well, the television program was one of those dramas set it ancient Rome and some heroine has been arrested by the Roman's and is going to be fed to the lions, or something... and they've cropped all her long hair off. Ex shouts to me to come and look... and as I walk in she turns to my parents and says: "He's got a real thing about women getting all their hair cut off, haven't you?"

Followed by a total stunned silence... and a bail of tumbleweed blowing across the room. :roll:

At the time I was mortified, but now I've explained the circumstances, does it seem such a big deal?

A relative told me about a friend of theirs who as a teenager who went through a personal hell trying to work up to a point where he could tell his mother he was gay. Sleepless nights, visiting self help groups about 'coming out' etc. Eventually the big day arrives and he finally plucks up the courage and tells his mother "Mom.. I'm Gay".
And the reaction was something like "Yes, I know that, dear. What do you want for dinner?"

We choose to keep some things to ourselves because we fear other people's feelings and reactions. It is a personal thing and the fears aren't always justified. It should still be our choice, though, we shouldn't be 'outed' by someone else :x
It still seems like a big deal to me.

It's different from sexual orientation. You're family knowing you're gay explains why the person you date and eventually bring home to meet them is the same gender as you are. So at some point gay is part of your public life.

Talking about specific fetish stuff is different. It's not about the public existence of the person you date, it's about the acts that turn you on.

"I'm gay" is a totally appropriate thing to say to ones parents, but something like "I like to get it in the ass, but my boyfriend prefers oral" is not. What your girlfriend did was more similar to the latter than the former. It's not just about fear, it's about privacy and boundaries. For me, it's the key to my libido to a huge degree and that shouldn't be given away lightly.

Ms. Herten
Posts: 71
Joined: 06 Oct 2015, 07:35

Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by Ms. Herten » 09 Dec 2016, 09:32

Fermat_returns wrote:
Ms. Herten wrote: I can't believe she betrayed your trust like that.
She thought nothing about it. As far as she was concerned it was like I'd said "I like girls in glasses" or "I find blue eyed girls really attractive".

Image a girl came on the television in glasses and my ex shouted to me, because I was out of the room, "There's a really attractive girl wearing glasses on the TV!" and then turns to my parents to explain "He really likes girls in glasses".

That is how she saw it.

Well, the television program was one of those dramas set it ancient Rome and some heroine has been arrested by the Roman's and is going to be fed to the lions, or something... and they've cropped all her long hair off. Ex shouts to me to come and look... and as I walk in she turns to my parents and says: "He's got a real thing about women getting all their hair cut off, haven't you?"

Followed by a total stunned silence... and a bail of tumbleweed blowing across the room. :roll:

At the time I was mortified, but now I've explained the circumstances, does it seem such a big deal?

A relative told me about a friend of theirs who as a teenager who went through a personal hell trying to work up to a point where he could tell his mother he was gay. Sleepless nights, visiting self help groups about 'coming out' etc. Eventually the big day arrives and he finally plucks up the courage and tells his mother "Mom.. I'm Gay".
And the reaction was something like "Yes, I know that, dear. What do you want for dinner?"

We choose to keep some things to ourselves because we fear other people's feelings and reactions. It is a personal thing and the fears aren't always justified. It should still be our choice, though, we shouldn't be 'outed' by someone else :x
It still seems like a big deal to me.

It's different from sexual orientation. You're family knowing you're gay explains why the person you date and eventually bring home to meet them is the same gender as you are. So at some point gay is part of your public life.

Talking about specific fetish stuff is different. It's not about the public existence of the person you date, it's about the acts that turn you on.

"I'm gay" is a totally appropriate thing to say to ones parents, but something like "I like to get it in the ass, but my boyfriend prefers oral" is not. What your girlfriend did was more similar to the latter than the former. It's not just about fear, it's about privacy and boundaries. For me, it's the key to my libido to a huge degree and that shouldn't be given away lightly.

hairct2
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Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by hairct2 » 09 Dec 2016, 14:38

My wife of ten years (we met on the internet in a hair chat room) The VERY best relationship I have ever had. All my EX's pretty much know (which is why some of them are EX's (lol). Funny thing though...I find myself more reserved with my wife who is a willing and excited participant than with an EX or a stranger. I guess its because I actually LOVE my wife and don't want to do anything to upset her even though she's game for ANYTHING. I have even turned one of our spare bedrooms into a really cool "Barber Room" (she's partial to a barber shop setting rather than salon).
She allows me free reign to recruit haircuts and such even though she would rather be the one in the chair. She likes me to keep her hair as short as possible and have even shaved her a few times with wigs for the grow out.She's always up for anything.
I actually have a real barber shop and I believe at least one of the girls that work for me knows I have a particular interest in cutting her hair as I am the only one she lets cut it and we have done some pretty bizarre stuff on her...fun...fun...fun.
I'm a pretty lucky guy to be able to share with people my fascination with cutting hair and not worry so much about what they think but that was not always the case for sure.
I certainly do get where some of you are coming from cause I've been there and would hate to go back into hiding again. Yes it's a sexual turn on for me but not always (strange but true) depends on how rough it gets and how bizarre the haircut.
We live in Charleston SC so if any of you get down this way give me a shout and lets have some fum...LOL.

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conrad
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Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by conrad » 09 Dec 2016, 20:45

My wife only knows the degree of it. But anyone one i know, knows that I prefer short hair over long hair, any day of the week.

psylocke
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Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by psylocke » 09 Dec 2016, 22:55

hairct2 wrote:My wife of ten years (we met on the internet in a hair chat room) The VERY best relationship I have ever had. All my EX's pretty much know (which is why some of them are EX's (lol). Funny thing though...I find myself more reserved with my wife who is a willing and excited participant than with an EX or a stranger. I guess its because I actually LOVE my wife and don't want to do anything to upset her even though she's game for ANYTHING. I have even turned one of our spare bedrooms into a really cool "Barber Room" (she's partial to a barber shop setting rather than salon).
She allows me free reign to recruit haircuts and such even though she would rather be the one in the chair. She likes me to keep her hair as short as possible and have even shaved her a few times with wigs for the grow out.She's always up for anything.
I actually have a real barber shop and I believe at least one of the girls that work for me knows I have a particular interest in cutting her hair as I am the only one she lets cut it and we have done some pretty bizarre stuff on her...fun...fun...fun.
I'm a pretty lucky guy to be able to share with people my fascination with cutting hair and not worry so much about what they think but that was not always the case for sure.
I certainly do get where some of you are coming from cause I've been there and would hate to go back into hiding again. Yes it's a sexual turn on for me but not always (strange but true) depends on how rough it gets and how bizarre the haircut.
We live in Charleston SC so if any of you get down this way give me a shout and lets have some fum...LOL.
From one fetishist to the next, would it be rude of me to ask about your current 'Barber Room' set-up? I share my property with my flatmate, who knows what I'm like, and I use the spare room to indulge my salon obsession. Do you purchase your furnishings new or second hand?

hairct2
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Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by hairct2 » 10 Dec 2016, 03:21

Some of my stuff I bought new and others were used. I also have a Barber Chair That I'm using now. It provides what we need for our indulgences. My wife especially loves it.
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psylocke
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Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by psylocke » 10 Dec 2016, 05:10

I am impressed.

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Hair2U
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Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by Hair2U » 10 Dec 2016, 08:00

This is an interesting discussion thread. I thought I'd contribute my experiences from both a personal and producer side.

On a personal level, none of my family or friends know. I intend to keep it that way. As for romantic relationships, I'm still single, and never been successful in dates to the point of being couple. So obviously I've never told my dates about this side of me, because we never get to the point of being couple. Perhaps I am too choosy (physical appearance and especially quality of long hair matters a lot), lack the tact, or just plain unlucky. Who knows? But those are all long stories on their own...

But as a producer, I do have a larger hurdle to pass compared to others who are just "consumers". I not only have a "thing" for hair; I actually actively produce videos for the community! If I ever have a partner, it would be hard enough to explain to her about my "thing", but if she knows about my clandestine production, it's a whole other level to deal with! Eventually, it'll have to come down to choosing her or continuing production. It's wishful thinking to find someone open, shares the interest, and supports producing this "stuff".

On the producer experience, I strive to maintain transparency, so I use my real identity when dealing with hair models. The response is quite varied on a personal level, and also culturally. When I started, I was based in Australia. Being a Western country, even though people there are more liberal-minded, there is a major barrier to overcome which money cannot always buy; reputation. Many models are reluctant to do "these sort of things" because of fear of their reputation being ruined if they appear on "dodgy" sites. In a first world country, money is not enough of a factor alone to encourage people to model. Pride and reputation are often stronger factors than money.

Many of the models were surprised when they find out that hair fetishism is even a thing. Here's something interesting. I've had semi-professional models who are open to doing artistic nude / implied nude photographic shoots, but will not model for a long hair play video for sale (which is implied fetish, even though I never explicitly use the F word when advertising and communicating with models). They rather be seen nude for "artistic" reasons than appear on a fetish site fully clothed modelling just hair. Go figure.

But somehow fortunately, I could find models who were willing to model for my production in the early stages. For long hair play videos, the first few batch were made with models whom I have had worked with for other photographic projects; so there is already trust earned. For haircut models, they were from people struggling financially, so as long as they got paid, they didn't really care too much. Getting the first batch of products is the most difficult bit, because I had no prior examples to show for. Once the first batch is there, it is easier to advertise for models, since they have a tangible website to see for themselves what the production is about. It's a rolling snowball effect.

Here lies the great irony. My own family and friends know nothing of this side of me, but strangers do. Well, since I am a photographer, it is not unusual for them to see me carry so much equipment in my car, and go out for shoots. When they ask what I am doing, I just say I'm going for a shoot. Technically not lying. I also do "normal" portrait shoots which has nothing to do with hair at all, and other kinds of photography out of interest; so it's easy to conceal my hair video production business among these other activities.

Currently, I am producing in Bosnia & Herzegovina. Being an Eastern Baltic European country, the mindset is completely different. People are conservative and find our Western indulgences strange. But, money is a huge pulling factor there. The country is poor, and half the people are without jobs. They care less about reputation, because the videos appear on an English / Western site; highly unlikely to be found out by their family / friends / future employers. So as long as they get paid, they will do it.

The bonus as well is that being a conservative country less exposed to Westernism. Beauty is a subjective thing of course, but there are some aspects that are objectively quantifiable. From my travels, I have found that Eastern European women are of much better quality, physically wise. Almost everyone is in good shape, live healthy lifestyle, look after themselves well, and with better hair quality and length.

To put it bluntly: There are beautiful long-haired women willing to model for the money since they are poor. A Western producer is willing to pay them to model. It's a win-win situation. But there is a drawback. Haggling is part of their culture, so they will haggle their price up. In the West, the prices are often fixed; they will either do it, or they won't, because money is often secondary to reputation.
Website for announcements and available models:
https://hair2u.net/

Sellfy site to purchase products:
https://sellfy.com/Hair2U

psylocke
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Re: Who in your life knows about your fetish

Post by psylocke » 10 Dec 2016, 11:39

Hair2U wrote:But as a producer, I do have a larger hurdle to pass compared to others who are just "consumers". I not only have a "thing" for hair; I actually actively produce videos for the community! If I ever have a partner, it would be hard enough to explain to her about my "thing", but if she knows about my clandestine production, it's a whole other level to deal with! Eventually, it'll have to come down to choosing her or continuing production. It's wishful thinking to find someone open, shares the interest, and supports producing this "stuff".
I wonder if that's just a question of confidence. Watch videos produced by Anthony Mascolo, Maramax, Hairfucker or Aaron Johnson and they all exude confidence - it's all tattoos, leather jackets and three day stubble, with beautiful models along for the ride. I'm sure they don't stop for one second to consider themselves a deviant for making haircutting look sexy, or feel they have to hide their job from their partner. Watch the average fetish producer on camera by comparison - t-shirt tucked into jeans, nervous hands, suspect banter, the model's eyes rolling around thinking 'what...the..f'. They look like they're up to no good - yet they're only cutting hair.

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